06.12.08

Thursday

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:47 pm by rachel

Thursday is almost Friday, which is technically the weekend. I don’t know where this week, or all the other weeks for that matter, has gone. It’s disappeared though, in a haze of work and wine and stress and exhaustion. I’m looking forward to a long lie in on Saturday morning, before heading to the deep south to visit Iain and Chris and their baby. And a long lie in on Sunday morning.

Another several weeks to go on the Bill, and then I’ll be finished. I had thought it would be over by June, it’s now looking like late July, and my to-do list isn’t pretty. However, I have hope. Which is an unusual but nice feeling. We’ll see, it’s too early to tell, but sometimes – clearly not all the time, especially when internment is concerned – politicians do the right thing. We’ll see. Although it puts the job hunt on hold, somewhat, but there are other things stalling that as well.

I am in limbo. It is almost three years since I started at fpa, and I’d promised myself I’d either be gone or be on a promise of being gone by this stage. Burly isn’t able to pin down where he’ll be working in October though, so the thought of jobhunting, starting a new place, and then leaving in a matter of months does not appeal, even if the thought of leaving fpa does. He’s sent out his CV though, and I’ve prepared mine should he get a green signal that he’ll be working in Glasgow, Southampton, California or New Jersey by Christmas. Time will tell and we’ll just have to play it by ear. Not as secure as I would like things to be, but also less effort, and given how busy things are, I’m not complaining too much. Something, as Burly is wont to say, will present itself.

The meeting I had with the MPs this morning made me feel slightly hopeful, although the culture of Westminster village gets to me – there is too many in-jokes, too much sarcastic black humour which isn’t funny when we’re dealing with legislation which will, or will not, have a fundamental impact on women’s lives. I’ve had a humour bypass, wrongly, but I’m too tired to laugh at jokes about the DUP or whatever. Been there, not liked that, bought the ‘why don’t you spend time working against them rather than being sarcastic about them?’ t-shirt. It doesn’t solve the issue and it doesn’t make me feel better. Anyway, we’ve had a breakthrough in our amendments, we’re all on the same side and by Zeus we are going to kick some ass with our logical arguments and the evidence-based speeches I’ve penned in my head for the MPs. There is a little bit of a glow in working on this, on being part of this. It’s nice.

Sorry I can’t go into details, dear readers. You’ll read about it in the newspapers, or I’ll tell you in person, but I’m slightly paranoid and everyone is watching. And now I feel slightly ridiculous, but not so silly that I’m going to unveil my tactics to you all, all 2 of you. But back to my musings.

Tomorrow is the weekend, and another week is over, and suddenly it’s June. I lift my head and it’s June – how did that happen? It’s Father’s Day on sunday, which I have done nothing about, and it’s my brother’s birthday in a week, which I have done nothing about, and aside from these obligations, there are my resolutions, which are voluntary but important, and they remain broadly unfulfilled. Bah, I say.  I met up with Julia last week, and she has been picking herself up, dusting off her broken heart, making her list about things she wants to do, and ticking off each and every single thing – surfing, driving, travelling, her running thing. I’m inspired, because I make a list, and then make another list, and never do any of the things I actually want to do. I should do that. I will do that.

I mean, I have time. I’ve been home for hours now. Burly is still at college – albeit at a party rather than slaving over a hot laser – but I have time to do things, and they seem to get squandered somewhere along the way. I need to get my bow rehaired and write some music, learn to play again. I need to do more writing and more research. I need do some exercise and fill my time in a better way. He’s getting a PhD, and I’m not getting anything, so I should make the most of this time.

What I’ve been getting is into the West Wing again, after too many moons. Burly bought me an iPod Touch, because he’s wonderful and he spoils me, and he has been downloading episodes onto it for me to watch on the tube or on the bus en route to meetings with real politicians, or when I’m sitting in a cafe having lunch, and it’s lovely. It makes me happy. As I don’t like sitting on the sofa watching TV for hours, it’s a good way to incorporate some Josh and Toby into my day. It’s good.

Cheerio then, for another while.